Akpos is in the news again. This time, Akpos has enrolled for adult education. His reason, “I must learn this English language very well. I want to go to this London like Osuofia and Jenifa. I cannot carry last” .
Day 1 at School
So on his first day at school, the first class was English Language. The teacher called on Akpos and asked him:-
Teacher: Akpos, make a Sentence with “Big”
Akpors: The Ram Is Big
Teacher: Make it longer
Akpos: The Ram is big ooooooo
Teacher was like , “WHAAAAAT!!!!”.
The Teacher recovered and continued with his questions: –
Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a woman. What do we learn from this?
Akpors: We should stop wasting time in studies and find that WOMAN
Teacher: Get out of my Class, Akpos
Akpos bounced out of the class, not sure what to do. Somehow, he made his way to the library. Once inside, he spotted a very pretty girl reading quietly. He quickly approached her and started wooing her right in the library. Oh Akpos! After some minutes, the girl got angry and shouted,
“Will you please leave me alone so that I can concentrate?
Everybody turned and looked at Akpos.
So what did Akpos do? Akpos gazed her intently and replied in a loud voice:
“I will not leave you alone until you accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour!”
Wow!!! Akpos will not kill somebody oooooo!
Day 2 at School
Immediately Akpos entered the class, the teacher stopped him at the door.
Teacher: You can only enter my class if you answer the following questions.
Akpos: Okay. Go on.
Teacher: Akpos how was your night?
Akpos: I don’t know ma, I was sleeping.
Teacher: Why do we drink water?
Akpos: Because we cannot eat water.
Teacher: Akpos, what Is the name for a baby lizard?
Apkos: Lizzy baby.
Teacher: The process of developing from a child to an Adult is called
The Teacher exclaimed: What manner of Man are you, Akpos? You are very silly. Go and sit down now.
As usual, Akpos bounced to his seat.
The Teacher turned to the class and asked: –
Teacher: who is a pharmacist?
Only Akpos raised up his hand
Teacher: So Akpos is the most intelligent student I have in this class? So there is no body else to answer the question except Akpos?
(there was no reply from the students)
Teacher: Ok, Akpos, use this cane and flog everyone ten strokes of cane each….
Akpos with a wide smile gave all the student ten hot strokes of the cane each….
Teacher: Okay, my dear Akpos tell these dumb student who a Pharmacist is…
Akpos: A Pharmacist is a farmer who assist people.
The Teacher fainted.
Akpos and his best friend Kome sat in the exam room to write their final exams. Kome had studied very well for the paper while Akpos had not.
This is what went on between them in the exam room.
INVIGILATOR: 10 mins more…
AKPOS: Kome, are you done with the theory?
KOME: Yes, but I am now doing the objectives.
AKPOS: Ok then pass the theory to me, for me to copy because I have not done anything.
KOME: Is that so? Ok take it and copy because time is not on our side.
INVIGILATOR: Get ready to stop work……
KOME: Hey Akpos, give me my paper.
AKPOS: Oh Kome, I couldn’t do it oo…it was too much, so I cancelled your name and wrote my name there…
INVIGILATOR: Stop work!!!
Two weeks later, the exams results were published
Principal: Akpos your result was very poor and disgraceful. What’s
your favourite subject?
Akpos: Free period.
USE ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE AKPOS – IS HE SMART OR CRAZY??!?!